The Big C
there is still a big C I wear as a scar on my head. my skin and bone flap cut open to remove the brain matter that fed…my tumor. leading to chemo and recovery and trying to rewire my brain to my body. my left and right sides not feeling as one. i still bump into walls with my shoulder feeling stitched together some. my left leg goes numb when i work it too hard, which can be a chore. my right hand tingles and feels dead at the core.
i chose poetry as my medium of choice after my surgeries. i felt i could say the most with the least amount of time. be able to download my consciousness to you with a rhyme. so that you might remember. so that this story could be passed on forever. because spoken or written, rhythm is eternal. to tell the story of a man who woke up the day after his surgery. who tried his hardest not to just walk but to run again. started clicking buttons and typing to continue to work, amen. who was thankful for the life he was given. thankful for his wonderful wife and children.
if this was the last thing i was ever to write, i wonder what i’d say to you so you might think twice about how we lived. so that you might do some things better for the human collective and give, knowing that your choices are part of something much much larger. that everything you consume and produce is part of our shared human cancer. a disease multiplied by humans with no answer.
still most would prefer immediate gratification. still most are striving for their personal satisfaction. so with these words i thank the world for what i have been given. i ask for forgiveness for my sins and treason, against my humanity that gave me free will. i apologize that i had to be branded with a C before i learned to chill. i apologize that i threw away so much time and trash. that i ran too much water and burnt too much gas. that i enlisted in the Army willing and ready to kill. that i drank and ate too much of everything, while here. that i didn’t notice more of your beauty and just be still. for now i will continue to tell my story. hoping that through our honesty we will find our full potential and glory.
crystl37November 25, 2010
Byron this is so beautiful. It is 5 am, high in the snowy mountains of southern Utah- I write this with tears in my eyes, the last days have been a blur and I can’t sleep either. What a beautiful thanksgiving message, you are such an inspiration to me my friend Thank you so much for sharing this, in the middle of the night- when things seem so much clearer, before we are blinded by the light of day and chaos it
Enjoy this Holiday season with your girls Byron, they will be borrowing the car keys before u know it! My sincerest and most divine best wishes to you and yours as we all join and give thanks for the lessons and the triumphs of 2010, good or bad, hard orl easy, rejoice in it all, every moment tingles with energy as we spiral out.
In love and light
RoseNovember 25, 2010
Thanks for this, Byron….
Feast on your life. \
Byron KingNovember 26, 2010
Thanks guys. You are both too kind. I’m glad I could be an inspiration. I’m trying to put it all out there for myself, loved ones and for the ones who don’t have the time to or who can’t.
There must be a billion who can’t put their words or thoughts together in order to say thanks or i love you properly. I’m just happy to hear that I was able to have an impact with this selection and combination of words. I hope you are correct Angie, as there is nothing I’d like more than to grow old and see those keys go into their hands. My oldest is five now and can ride her bike all the way to her school so I’m sure that time will be here before we know it. I just hope the technology catches up for the treatment of brain tumors in the next few years so I can have that time with them and with the world as well.
Enjoy your time and find peace. The snowy mountains of Utah sounds like a wonderful place to enjoy a break. Stay safe and feast on life. Well put Rose. Thank you both.
God is one.
ricoNovember 26, 2010
I remeber you once challenged ed love by saying hey ed where is the love in ed love?His answer was where is the king in byron king.I think if he was alive today he would see a lot of king in what you are doing
Byron KingNovember 26, 2010
I remember. I couldn’t forget if if I tried. That has become part of my own personal mythology and I suppose I have been trying to find the King in Byron King ever sense. Thanks for the kind words and for remembering that day. I wish I had found the Love in Ed Love while he was still here and earned his respect. Looking back at it now I don’t think I would have respected me either so I don’t blame him for kicking me out of his class.
The strange thing is I don’t feel that class ever stopped. I mention Ed often to others and this story and feel he made the biggest impact on me as an artist and possibly as a man. RIP Ed Love. There are so many of us from that class who are actively working as artist to make the world a better place that he would be proud of many of us. I’m sure of it. You included.