29 MARCH 2004
MEMORANDUM FOR RECORD
FROM: 1LT Akbar Lightning
SUBJECT: FALL FROM GRACE
1. I fell in love with an ideal when I met the organization that claimed to glide on the grace of integrity, service, and excellence. She was so beautiful and graceful that I knew in my heart that she would lead me to Truth. I first courted her as a youngster looking for a place to belong. She opened her arms to me when she accepted my commitment to the Civil Air Patrol, an auxiliary of her true self. She wasnt ready to let me into her heart, but she did let me wear her favorite colors. In C.A.P. she taught me to be responsible for my actions and education. Aim High, she said. My sights were set on the stars perhaps an expedition to Mars!
2. Our relationship became much more serious when she accepted my application to the United States Air Force Academy. She demanded discipline, honesty, and integrity. In return, Ill teach you to fly, she said. She taught me commitment to duty, honor, and country. She promised freedoms commensurate with my ability to perform to the expectations of the evaluators. I loved her and everything about her even if she was hard to please.
3. When I took her hand in marriage, I accepted the vows of our union without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion. I swore to her that I would well and faithfully serve in any capacity. I wanted to fly. Her love gave me wings. All she asked was a 10-year term, but I was prepared to give her my life.
4. INTEGRITY FIRST-SERVICE BEFORE SELF-EXCELLENCE IN ALL WE DO were the precepts of our union and all I needed to survive. I told her I would do anything for her. I would die for her. I swore to live by a code of conduct that demanded more than full faith and allegiance. I swore that I would give my life in the defense of our family. I strove to serve my bride with a commitment second to none. I routed integrity from my very soul I toasted to honesty no matter what the consequences, on our honeymoon. I thought that is what she wanted.
5. I strove to serve in every way. I served with my body, with my mind, and with my spirit. I thought it would please her. I served only her. There were no others before my beloved USAF! I filled my every effort with excellence for her. I fell short on many occasions, but I quickly admitted my faults. For my honesty, service, and quality I expected nothing but love and compassion. I expected nothing but the same for myself.
6. Perhaps I failed her in my transgressions. Perhaps I didnt confess my failures soon enough. Perhaps she found me unworthy of reciprocation, because I was not rewarded with love and compassion. Instead I was rewarded with kill and destroy. She talked of crossing into the blue past the moon, planets, and stars. She offered me the heavens and everything in them if only I would kill for her. She returned my faith and allegiance with INTEGRITY UNTIL CONSEQUENCE-SERVICE FOR SELF-EXCELLENCE IF RECOGNIZED.
7. It pains me to see the truth of her intent hidden by a veil of secrecy, confidentiality, and lies. For that I must request our separation. She is too deeply rooted in her ways to give me what I need to live. She is too committed to the thrill of the kill to give peace a chance. She is too driven by fear and greed to make any allowances outside of her faulty standards, regulations, and instructions. Take these broken wings. Happy Trails USAF, I will forever love you!Akbar Lightning