Father Mapple’s Commandments #1

My dear Globatron brethren and sistren,

I have been thinking lately about the nature of law-giving.  Anybody who has been around our temple for any time knows that this is a constant fascination for me.  I have been meditating on how it is that such things operate, like the 10 commandments, The Code of Hammurabi, or the Bill of rights…Such documents open a doorway to a new culture through the paradoxical power of prohibition.  I realized that such acts of law-giving do not find their success in their clarity and specificity, no they rely upon an innate ambiguity.  They respond to that truism that says ‘to make law is to encourage litigiousness’ by using the human tendency to resist as a means of seduction into a dialogue with morality, at times when most people are resisting exactly that.  And so, as I looked to the heavens and I asked what shall be the laws for the 21st Century, the clouds parted and and angel with 9 breasts, 3 legs and a single wing appeared to me, and said ‘Do not be horrified my silly prophet, the ways of the divine are not to be fully understood by your kind, but by those that follow you.  I shall appear to you 10 times and give you, along with the pleasure of my company, 10 laws for the 21st Century.”  After some pleasant physical contact, a thought appeared in my mind, and I knew that it issued not from my own soul, but was given to me by the angel, and she disappeared in a cloud of translucent dust, and I succumbed to a mighty sneeze.  I stood and pronounced the following commandment:

Thou Shalt Not Waste Energy!



  1. globatron
    August 2, 2010

    wonderful. i likey. 10 new commandments. the first 10 still aren’t being followed. maybe the 12th commandment could be follow the first ten.

    maybe the 13th could be don’t use your cell phone while driving.

    14th could be don’t do FB status updates about stupid stuff.

    15th could be crowd source all other commandments.

    your description of this angel is wonderful. i am trying to figure out how it flies with one wing but i suppose that’s not up for humans to understand.

    can’t wait to have more commandments to follow.

    interesting stuff.

  2. Greg
    August 2, 2010

    In effect today Globa is 2 new laws in Florida. Law Enf can pull you over if you are seen using a cell phone (not hands free device) while driving and if you are seen texting while driving.

    Unfortuately their is still no law against shaving, putting on makeup, doing your hair, reading business briefs, or my personal favorite trying to eat that Eggnormous sandwich from Burger King while driving.

    The ten commandments I believe were left by the seeders of our planet, (this is my personal theory that I have always held – prior to Mission to Mars but the exact same premise) as a guideline of how to exist in harmony with each other. The problem is all the various cultures took the same text and interjected the perception of man on it and thus BAM you have the various religions and faiths. It would explain much as to why all the various religions have the same core principle in their teachings. Do no harm to others, treat each other as you would expect to be treated, and other universal truths.

    Oh and here is a great saying, the problem with humanity is the fact that you can’t spell it without MAN. That is what always screws everything up, man does. Not man an in the sex, man in general as in we are people and thus flawed.

    In any case, happy Monday, hope all are well. I rearranged the living room per my wife’s behest and really tweaked my back doing so. I am definately not as young as I used to be. I wonder if Superman had to rearrange his living room all the time would it be worse than Kryptonite? 🙂

  3. Byron King
    August 3, 2010

    Greg your ideas are very interesting. I agree with your thoughts on religion as well. I’m not sure if they were put here by alien ancestors. But I would say that there is a genetic disposition to find meaning and that these commandments are somehow implanted in our gene pool through a long evolutionary process.

    I would not count out that humans are not a direct descendant from the chimpanzee. I mean all scientific evidence does point to that being the case but I’m open to all possibilities. It would be more magical if we were actually descended from alien ancestors.

    I mean I’m open to it all. Logic though directs most of my thoughts on issues like this. Evolution is still a theory. But a theory based on millions of years of a fossil record. A fossil record that is not complete but one of which is continuing to gain more and more pieces to its time-line.

    If we are actually descended from alien humanoids do you see it playing out like Battlestar Galactica? Were we put here by ancestors from another galaxy to intermingle with the primates and try and live in peace?


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