Cancer is a killer. When you first hear the verdict most collapse in horror. Then time begins to really mean something. Emotionally it is equal to genocide, war, spree killings to the ones who live with it and the ones who support those who do. To cancer survivors, cancer is a connection. It is like our own personal VFW that we can huddle inside a bubble at the bar, sharing a drink. Speaking our truths. About our hopes and dreams, fears. Our transitioning. What it has done to us and what we have become in the meantime.
If you have the same type of cancer, say a brain tumor or the same treatment, brain radiation, then that bond becomes even closer. We can share so closely that it is as if we are holding each other’s hands through space and time even after one passes to the other side. To the great void. The unknown.
I had that experience with a friend who passed recently. I would visit her and give her organic veggies donated to her. I enlisted for this delivery because we shared our cancer connection. I wanted to learn her story as much as tell her mine. To let her know that there is strength in our doubt and fears. That cancer treatment is our own right of passage. If we let it, we become wiser through our letting go. Letting go. That is the true lesson.
As we let go we see more. Feel more. Understand that it was all a shamanic dance. That we had partners along the way. That we taught the dance. We stumbled. We fell but we continued on. How you flow. How you show your joy is through your own rhythm. The way you beat. beat. beat the disease until it takes you into the water’s breeze to meet your maker. The big bang, father, mother, creator, universal speaker. That vibrates the frequency of all of creation.
Angela. I looked into your eyes. I saw your wise loving cries for another chance. I believed you would beat it. There were days when you truly glowed. I saw you light up the room. You were as radiant as sunlight in the golden hour as you graced us with your presence. I thank you for our time. Our short minutes where we prepped each other’s minds. For the infinite. My cancer buddy, I will see you on the other side. Save me a seat at the bar. In space time, I know we are not very far away from chatting again.