Imitating Myself

Posted by on Feb 17, 2010 in 2010, Choken Word, Truth, unemployment

I imitate everything I see and hear.
From the first syllables I heard in the womb.
To sounds blasted in a lounge while drinking a beer.
We learn through mimicking what we hold dear.

Right now I am imitating someone with no fear.
Someone who puts their soul out there for all to see.
Someone who actually believes in the power to be free.
This person I have not met but I’m pretending to be.
I hope I play this role well as I hope to inspire others and me
To make the right choices while in an intense state of pretend.

Where things work out right and the cards you were dealt aren’t fixed.
Where one day you wake up and your luck is no longer bewitched.
So I imitate what I see and dream of the way I’d like to live.
Throwing ideas out to the interweb as if I have money to give.
As if I am a retired man of leisure looking for a hobby.
As if I have political aspirations looking for money to lobby.

But I am none of these and never have been.
As many, I have collectively been dealt a bad hand.
One that many have said there will be no end.
But I get up each day and shoot ideas out like spitballs
Sitting at the back of the classroom trying to hit the blackboard wall.

Believing we are all part of one living organism I don’t fear the end.
My family is but one molecule operating to help suspend
The hopelessness that can so easily drive its fingers in.
So be it a disease or lack of work let us continue to fight.
Let us remember that giving up is a choice usually made out of spite.
Because we are all struggling in this universe in which we rotate.
Because we all have similar struggles that are part of the human substrate.

So I say to you as I throw one more spitball.
Continue thinking large and small.
Because it’s all connected no matter how you make it.
Continue dreaming about your passion.
Because your passion is your identity so don’t let them take it.
Continue thinking that your reason for being is everlasting.
Because you are infinite and I hope you never forget it.

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2 Comments

  1. crystl37
    February 19, 2010

    Oh I love this one globatron- how inspiring! Your mood or attitude (or whatever) comes through so strong in your work-It is very interesting the different vibes of your pieces-it seemed like you were getting a little dark or discouraged there for a minute-it appears you are emerging though, to me anyway.

    I can so relate to the idea of imitating- I often feel like I am imitating being a responsible adult -when I have to- but I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up-I am often amazed when I realize that I am grown up- and ultimately- I have accomplished what is important. I am happy, my son is happy, we have a warm loving home filled with laughter and fun and true friends. I never have enough money-but I dont give a shit- I always have what I need, and I do what i have to do to get it- or sometimes it doesnt seem like I actually do-but it comes to me anyway.

    I notice a recurring theme lately in your work-fight. I have found that that is a word of many intonations to me. I gave up a long time ago trying so hard to get ahead- to keep up the fight- the fight for what? To get more stuff, and increasingly bigger and better cars, toys, or whatever defines a person in their eyes. For me, the fight is handling bullshit things like standing in lines, paying bills, tickets, showing up to court dates, mailing things, making phonecalls etc. I have struggled against the system my entire life-and I dont always win-but my greatest accomplishments are mundane and routine for most people. You would not believe the depths of my stupidity in dealing with authority figures-that includes utility companies, banks, schools, or basically anyone in a position to affect my life or force me to comply with ANYTHING. To this very day- literally- I subconcsiously refuse to pay anything in a timely matter-whether I have the money or not. As I read through your work- I am being reminded that fight begets fight- my resistance is my fight-we each have our own I think.

    Giving up is actually what will set us free- at the moment you cease resistance or aggression or longing for or against anything-it ceases to be a factor and solutions emerge from unthought of places and undreamt of scenarios that you may have never seen coming in a million years. And that is a beautiful thing.

    The last year or so I have been going with the program more than I ever have-and I have struggled with the notion of getting old, or acting old, or having a daily routine, or becoming some kind of a sheeple because I actually take care of shit that has to be taken care of-reading this totally made me realize what my fight is-and I can see now that each little micro fight that I have given up-has added to my overall sense of contentment and has been what is allowing me to study and explore and cultivate the seeds planted throughout a lifetime. It takes alot of time to not have your shit together- time wasted putting out fires and cutting off locks, dodging cops and generally ‘riding dirty’ in a broader sense than just while driving your car.

    You just keep throwing those spitballs, globatron, they are priceless!

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  2. globatron
    February 19, 2010

    Thank you once again. I don’t know know now many times I can say that but it means a lot to get input like this back on a piece.

    You know what’s interesting is that you felt like I was in a dark place before and that this piece popped me out of it. The funny thing it’s more or less a mask of what I want to be as I’m in a very dark place right now. All our issues are becoming a lot to carry at the moment. I felt this when I wrote it and maybe that’s why I write to be able to look back and say see what you said there, now get up and believe in yourself again. I think the overarching themes of infinity and our problems being small are true but my problems with health and unemployment are real.

    But that’s what I love, love about art. Is how a piece can be read so many different ways. A piece can be read different than the next as it all takes into context where you are on that specific day.

    Thanks for sharing and I’m glad I’m not the only one who has a little fight left in them. I do believe in the power of surrender too and maybe I just need to let my problems solve themselves now. I’ve worked very hard. Made a lot of friends. Put out hundreds of feelers. Maybe it’s time to let go and let the universe take care of me as it does us all.

    I guess resistance is futile at some point. I’ve done this unemployment thing enough times to know sending out hundreds of resumes is just plain stupid. Every job I’ve gotten was through a connection or a recruiter. Glad you are in a good place now and you aren’t fighting the system as much. Appreciate your positivity. I needed it. Very kind of you. I’ll shoot another spitball very soon.

    cheers…

    Reply

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