The following is an email exchange concerning the prior night’s game winning point, in Modern Warfare 2.
remember the other night when i got 9 assists, that was almost as awesome as that wicked winning kill last night with the newb-tube, blowing up that big tank and splattering Saith all over the side of the building…
I’m about to look at this link, so I can’t comment on it. What I can comment on is this ridiculous notion that having the final (or, so to speak, the “statistically last”) kill of a game with a noob-tube, and calling said kill “wicked,” is almost oxymoronic. One is attributing the point scored as being the result of implemented skill. Fighting against someone with a noob-tube is analogous to fighting a sentry gun with a throwing knife.
first of all, it’s spelled ‘newb-tube’ the prefix derived from the latin word ‘newbie’ which means man standing next to gas tank, and secondly, whereas the crudeness of a gun merely requires the shooter to aim at one’s target using a straight line to project the imagined effect, the glorious newb-tube asks its user to calculate an arc in mid-action, while taking into consideration the necessity of a properly triggered landing. the hatred of the newb-tube, i propose, comes from an unwillingness to engage in the level of training that allows it to be so skillfully, and dare i say, artfully engaged.
It needs to be said that a) Saith was not the final kill; he was a casualty of the final kill; b) the “newb” tube attack that ended the game was not the product of noteworthy skill or precision guidance, it was a blunt and forceful attempt at killing whoever it was that got killed, and, as such, did not actually strike it’s intended target but, instead, in typical nüb-toob fashion, wrecked deleterious collateral damage in a failed attempt at striking its quarry, and it was this collateral carnage (the blowing up of the gas tank) that caused the game-ending death. To say that one elicits skill in wielding a nyub-tüb, is akin to declaring that one can perform a competent apendectomy wielding only a baseball bat.
your sophistry doth amuse mine ears, tis sad but true that such brutality accompanies this instrument of war, however one must never forget that fateful night when that fair cardnal achieved his most glorious accolade, made more so by the foul temper of thy server, whisking him and his newb-tube prematurely away from the field of conflict, whence he had midway aided 9 of his fellow countrymen, of whom some were named dennis, with the assistance that such deleterious collateral damage makes possible. let us not allow our mind to wander so senselessly as to presume that given a baseball bat, that such a feat as would please Hippocrates himself, could not be performed by that knight named Serilius!