Akbar’s Fake Science #1 – Christian Science

Posted by on Jul 28, 2010 in Akbar Lightning, Religion, Science

After seeing a bumper sticker the other day, that read ‘Keep Christ in Christmas’, I realized that when we remove ‘Christ’ from Christmas, that leaves us with Mas…which would normally be equal to Energy divided by the Speed of Light squared…but Mas is missing one S, so this makes obvious the idea that Jesus Christ is equivalent to the letter ‘S’, so that we understand the plurality concept within Mass is given to us by Jesus…So, if we want to keep ‘Christ’ = S, in Christmas, we would have to maintain a constancy of plurality…In fact, the plural nature of divinity, sharing of omnipotence between God and Man, is unique to Christianity…In other words, Einsteinian Relativity, which posits the speed of light as a limitation of energy is an anti-christian doctrine, and it is responsible for the slow elimination of plurality from the holy days, and a move toward individual relative enrichment.

Christ = S = E/c2 = Einstein = A-bomb/Hallmark Cards



  1. Cynthia Barnett
    July 28, 2010

    Your title is misleading: did you mean to write about Christian science, or from a critical point of view, Christian “science?”

    I don’t see anything here about Christian Science, which is the name of a worldwide denomination. Please clarify, or better, why not correct the title to reflect this distinction? Thanks.

  2. globatron
    July 28, 2010

    Cynthia it seems pretty obvious that this is intended to be humorous. Lighten up already. Also, when did the blogging title police come out so quickly. It depends on what the question of is, Is. Or something like that.

    Akbar, you keep chugging along. You are close to unraveling the mysteries of the universe. Don’t let a title nazi get you down. Maybe this is the one inch formula those silly scientists have been looking for. If only they looked at Christmas and how it has become so materialistic they wouldn’t have had to take quantum physics while in school or think of those pesky black holes all the time.

  3. Greg
    July 29, 2010

    Glad to hear my comment inspired you a bit Akbar. I got the vision instantly of engineers working on formula for solving the equation of the holidays. 🙂 Don’t me started about Valentine’s day, The SINGLE largest commercialism sponsored racket in the world.


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